I have the privilege of coaching and mentoring some amazing people. It truly is an honor to be gifted the talents, the will, and the desire to help people grow into higher versions of themselves. 

If you've followed my blogs or my podcast for any period, you might have noticed that when I spot patterns, I like to share them through my content. It's as if I get to study life, develop new awarenesses, and help people see what I see to continue to evolve society. It's humbling. 

Everyone wants to increase their circumstances, but that requires thinking differently and becoming a different version of you. Not everyone is growth oriented and willing to make radical changes in their lives. For those who are, we get to realize the sheer amount of effort required in making changes stick. 

In March of 2016 I was terminated from my second executive level position in 20 months, effectively ending my journey in corporate America. I was 300 lbs, suicidal, and everything about my family life was toxic and abusive. I tried to find another job, but was unsuccessful. I didn't have the courage to kill myself and abandon my family, so I felt forced to look for a different path.

On my Inner Wealth Community call this week, I did a simple exercise with the members. I asked them to close their eyes, imagine they have already accomplished a set goal, or their life vision has taken shape and they're living their dream life. 

For the first half of my life I didn't understand the power of my mind. I didn't understand the power of my thoughts, concerns, and where my attention was taking me. I had to learn the hard way that wherever your thoughts point, your life follows. 

Over the past 6 years I've studied great thinkers and teachers such as Napoleon Hill, James Allen, and Wallace Waddles, and they basically all say the same thing: Focus on what you want, not what you don't want. 

Most people are eager to share their perspective. People who love, appreciate, and want the best for you will likely be happy to pass on their beliefs, wisdom, and life experiences to help you avoid making the same mistakes they did. 

If you're not careful, you'll see that it's also a trap. By passing on their beliefs, wisdom, and life experiences they're also sharing with you their fears, and most often they'll try to get you to see the world through their lens, not your own. They might try to convince you to see the world as they do so that they can feel justified and right in the choices they've made. 

As long as I was distracting myself from the stress, chaos, anger, painful beliefs, shame, and false stories running through my mind and body, I was just delaying the pain. That's what I did the first 43 years of my life until I was forced - and I mean forced - to face myself. I had nothing to do, nowhere to go, and no way to distract myself from the pain inside of me. 

When I look back to 6 years ago, I can see how radically different my life is from that time - which was by far the darkest of my life. In March of 2016 I had just gotten terminated from my second executive-level position in 20 months, I was 300 lbs of undisciplined chaos, abusive to my wife and kids, my home was full of deception, drama, and conflict, and I was suicidal because I hated myself at such a deep level. 

When I was at the beginning of my transformation and rebirth, a mentor told me these simple words: "If you want to create better outcomes, understand that you're never a victim." Since he told me those - at the time strange - words, I've learned to  comprehend, embrace, and use them for my benefit. 

Believing or feeling I'm a victim has never helped me in my life. Being a victim only caused me more pain and suffering, and only helped me to hold on to the pain and suffering longer than necessary. 

So how does this concept make sense? Let me explain. 

Years ago a very dear friend of mine told me "Mike, you can have anything you want. You Just need to get really clear about what it is, and it will show up in your experience."

He was partially wrong, but mostly right. 

He was right that we can have whatever we want, but there were some qualities  present in him that he overlooked. Those same qualities were absent in me when he made that statement. Those qualities were certainty and commitment. 

I encourage you to not believe a thing I write in this article, then try it on for size for yourself. Prove me wrong. 

I bet you won't. 

Everyone has a struggle story. Everyone. There's a force inside each of us - that unites us all - that wants to expand with us and through us. 

Some call this force God, the universe, source energy, life...

I don't care what you call it. I don't care if you don't believe. Your faith and your beliefs are your business, and yours alone. My belief is that we do the most harm to others when we project our beliefs onto them. 

That's why I'm insisting that you not believe me, and prove me wrong. I dare you. 

If you're anything like the rest of us, you're trying to create more wealth and success in your life. More wealth and success means you can make a bigger difference in the world and the lives of others. At the same time you can taste more of what life has to offer. 

I coach and teach small business owners and professionals in workshops, a mastermind, and my private coaching practice. The only significant difference I see between those who create results and those don't is how they handle and manage worry, doubt, and fear - their internal resistance. We all deal with these elements of our humanity. How we relate with them determines the results we're capable of creating.

 My life works in themes. A few days ago a close friend of mine messaged me to share that during a meditative and contemplative time, the darkness visited her and told her it loved her. She said that the darkness told her that it was pure love, just like the light. She made peace with the darkness from that visit. What a powerful visit it was. 

Have you ever noticed that there's a voice in your head, almost like another person is speaking to you? Do you notice that most times you aren't thinking, but thoughts are happening whether you try to think or not? One of the most liberating days of my life was when I realized that I am not always the thinker of the thoughts, but I am the observer of those thoughts. 

I realized that I can either pay attention to every thought or just let them go, unless it's one I really want to play with. 

That means that I ultimately get to decide the tone, quality, and overall amount of mental processing at any time. This is true for you too. 

There's no one who makes simple things harder than me. I laugh at how many times I've take super simple concepts that were working, added a bunch of complexity, watched my gains slow to a crawl, then finally figured out that I've made things harder than they needed to be. 

Here's a great example. In 2016 life as I knew it crashed and burned. I hit the reset on every aspect of my life - my health, wealth and how I showed up in all of my relationships.

As we close out 2021 and turn the page to the next chapter, it's important to reflect and take inventory before we keep sprinting forward. And that's what most - who are achievement oriented - are doing, sprinting. 

Let's take a second to collect ourselves and get clear about how to move forward in a satisfying, adventurous, and fulfilling way. That requires looking to the past, the present, and the future.

Teaching about mindset has been a staple in my personal and professional development business. As you realign the way you analyze the world, the world you see changes before your very eyes - like magic. 

One of my favorite influencers is Dr. Wayne Dyer, who passed away in 2015. Dr. Dyer wrote many books and held seminars around the world. For me the power of his teachings boil down to a single amazing quote that he has become famous for saying: "When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change." This is the power of mindset taught in a very profound, succinct message.

I've never, ever said these words to any prospect, client, or even my children. To me, these words are repulsive. The word work represents doing something you'd rather not do. People in the United States have an average lifespan of 78.8 years. The universe is approximated to be about 13.8 billion years old, so needless to say, we live a relatively short period of time. 

Over the past few weeks, my speaking engagements, coaching sessions and problem solving has really gotten back to the basics. What are the basics? Mindfulness. The universe is really trying to tell me something. The basics are not basic. Mindfulness is the foundation for a life well-lived, and is the teaching that is most needed in the world. 

So here we go!

Let me begin by saying this article is not about sex. Sure, sex is a form of intimacy, but sex and intimacy are not synonymous. Sex can be intimate, and sex can be superficial. 

Real intimacy is never superficial. I spent decades of my life in superficial relationships - with my friends, my employers, even my wife. When I was always left wanting a deeper connection with everyone, I began to understand and experience real intimacy. This takes courage.

Let me explain what it is.