Do You Have the Courage to Be Disliked?
I spent a lot of years hiding who I was from the world. My first book The Imposter In Charge was one of my first attempts to expose my real self to the world. In that book I share many traumas, tragedies, abuses, and failures that my family and I experienced, and I also shared the heroes journey we took to begin overcoming our shadowed past.
Since I began my "teacher and Influencer" journey in 2016 I've slowly opened more, and it's been a truly liberating experience. On The Inner Wealth Podcast, across social media, in my blogs, and through all of my content I share my current "truth". Current truth. If that sounds like a strange concept, let me explain.
Can you look back at your life and see where you were firm in a belief as "truth", to see that 10 years later you believed something different? That's what I mean by current truth. We are all evolving throughout the course of our lives, and current truths become expired truths in lieu of newer, higher level perspectives and truths. I used to be a staunch Christian, but now I'm not. I used to believe the wealthy were greedy, but now I don't. I used to be an extreme right-wing antagonist, but now I'm not. I used to believe that you needed a job and benefits to be ok, but now I don't. In each of these cases, they were current "truths" which expired. At the time I believed them firmly, then they changed as I changed. In other words, they were beliefs - not truths. But in the moment they feel like truth.
As my life as a teacher and influencer evolves I have become more willing to firmly express my current "truths", knowing that in a few years I might believe differently. When I present my positions I express my current truths without extinguishing any other beliefs or positions as false or wrong - I just am just firm in my own position and my current state of awareness. But not everyone loves hearing something that contradicts their own position - their current truth. There are over 8 billion people on the planet, and to think that I hold the only and absolute truth is absolutely delusional and self-obsessed. I leave room for my own evolution in the process.
But I also don't allow others with conflicting positions to cause me to change my own because they don't agree with me. I'm ok being disliked and disagreed with.
The Courage to be Disliked and Disagreed With
One muscle I have developed over the past 8 years has been the courage to be disliked and disagreed with. I can go back in my early content and see where I played it super safe. I was posting and publishing only content that was fairly mainstream and agreeable - because I wanted to be liked and I wanted supporters to agree with my content. This was simply another form of hiding behind safe content. There was nothing new, provocative, or innovative about my content - and at the same time there was not much to disagree with. And because of this there was really no value in the content either.
There are people who are starved for higher level thought and concepts which will help them grow and see the world through a different lens. I want to get to those people. I want to provoke them into higher states of awareness and consciousness. But playing it safe in my content kept them from seeing the genius of the wisdom inside of me - and yes, I mean genius. We each have some form of genius trying to be expressed through our work - you included. But you can't express this genius while trying to fit in with the rest of society. Genius is found in the freshness of new art, approaches, and methodologies.
To express your genius takes the courage to be disliked and disagreed with. With over 8 billion people when you express something profound and innovative, someone or a group of someones who are attached to their own current truth will lash out. It's not if, but when. There are growth oriented people in the world, but if you pay attention, most are security oriented. These security oriented people do not want their current level of awareness or belief system to be challenged. They are fixed in their beliefs, and they'd prefer everyone think just like them so that they can feel ok. Security oriented people are also the first ones likely to attack to get an outlier - who has stepped out of the herd - back in the herd. Most of all, they fear being left behind by people who step out. It makes them feel even more insecure, inadequate, and insignificant to see someone who is stepping outside of their own comfort zone and familiar patterns in life.
But when you build up your courage to be disliked and disagreed with, remain stable in the attacks without attacking back, remain focused on sharing your current truth, some people will actually begin to understand what you are sharing and will kick the tires on new possibilities. This is when average people just like me become seen in the world.
The Path to Relevancy
One time I heard this about becoming a prominent leader in the new-thought movement:
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they get angry and attack you, then they see the wisdom of your teachings.
I remember being in the first two phases of this path, and I'm currently delighting in the third phase right now. Lately I have been teaching about a concept I call The 7 Vital Human Resources. Here's a summary breakdown of what I share:
There are 7 Vital Resources required in order for a human being to live a full and empowering life:
Self-Love and Authenticity - You love and honor every piece of yourself and your path, and you show up fully authentic to live your most authentic desires, talents, and expressions.
Connection to the Divine and the Divinity Within - There is a God, and God is not "out there." The Kingdom of Heaven is within, and we must possess a powerful relationship with our own divinity. We are one with God, not separate. We are all God in material form.
Health and Energy - We must build and nurture a healthy relationship with our mind and body, and when we do we will have the energy we need to live a powerful and purposeful life.
Love and Intimacy - We are social beings, and we require deep, connected, intimate, and loving relationships with people who we can be natural and vulnerable with.
Impact and Significance - When we make a positive impact in the world we feel a deep sense of meaning and significance. We can know that our lives matter, and that the world is better because we existed.
Wealth and Freedom - We live in a material world, and the currency of the world is money. We require money to experience the world and sustain life. The more wealth we create through our impact and significance, the more we can leverage the freedom to experience this rich world.
Peace and Fulfillment - We must be able to fall back into deep states of peace - or restful and fulfilling states of BEing. We are human BEings, not human DOings, so living a overly busy life full of distractions and avoidance of peace creates unnecessary stress and struggle.
When I share this - or elements of these resources, some people take exception. People tell me I'm full of myself for a high level of self-love. The Religionists think it's heretical that I allude to the thought that we are one with God. People with a poor relationship with money fight that wanting more money is harmful to others, or money is not "necessary" to live a fulfilling life. Grind Gurus take exception to peace and fulfillment, saying it's lazy.
There's an adversary for every piece of their truth anyone can throw down because beliefs are subjective - they are filters and masks. But they feel so real, they become your current truth. The question is, can you express what you believe to be true with enough commitment and conviction to allow enough people to eventually see the wisdom of your teachings without shrinking or compromising yourself first?
This World is Starved for Leadership
People are looking for courageous, confident, and capable leaders who are willing to carve out a new path. People are looking for higher expressions of knowledge and wisdom, and actively seeking them out each and every day. But not everyone is willing to be seen and disliked enough to get traction to become the leader that people crave. But leaders are needed in this world of mediocrity.
About the social media world, I have a saying: My supporters drive my bank account, and my haters drive my algorithm. In today's society, we actually require both. But it truly is an act of courage to show up and step out. A spiritual teacher named Ra Ura Hu said there are three kind of people in this world, leading actors, supporting actors, and people who act like furniture on the set. Only the leading actors really move the emotion in the crowd and make a name for the movie. Which one are you now, and which do you choose to be going forward?
The question is are you willing to stick out from the masses of people who are hiding waiting for you to lead?